Call Me Weeble

Weebles wobble, but they don't fall down. That's me. I get up in the morning, and I weeble my way into my day. I get up from a chair, and I weeble through the house. What's weebling? It's this really weird stiff-legged wobble, that now passes for a walk. Whatever happened to my great energetic sexy stride? It's become Weeble.

I've found out a few more things about this hip replacement. What shall forever be prohibited from me. Running. Jumping rope. Trampoline. Basically, anything where both feet must leave the ground. I'm glad I already did my parachute jump - that would be off the bucket list as well.

I also discovered that I'll have to wear a splint on my legs for the first few weeks when I sleep, so that I don't accidentally roll over and cross my legs. At least the prohibition against crossing my legs is only for three weeks or so. The prohibition against leaning forward is also for three weeks.

I hope that this operation also takes care of the pain in my right knee. I've been told the pain radiates - that the knee hurts because of the hip problems. So we shall see.

The joint being put in my hip is made of oxinium, which is some kind of fancy metal-nonmetal blend. Titanium and zirconium, if I remember right. So I guess I've have this really groovy postmodern hip. A hip hip. (eeeee!) I guess that's the answer to Tower of Power's "What Is Hip?" What is hip? Oxinium.